I apologize for the lack of frequency of posts these days—I’m taking a class about ethics and legal issues in the counseling profession, which isn’t exactly brimming with stepfamily material. Nonetheless, I’ll still be posting all summer, mostly items of the “personal reflections” persuasion (groan…). But I should be back with lots of research-based loot in September!
One thing did stand out in class, though—on the first night, my professor asked each of us to talk about our future plans and “unique perspective” as a therapist. (I felt a little like I was on The Next Food Network Star, having to dredge up a special “culinary point of view.”) I said, of course, that my unique perspective came from being a stepmom and an active part of the stepfamily community.
That was an understatement. It’s hard for me not to see anything and everything through the stepmom lens. In some ways, being this aware is a real positive. In that same class, for example, I was the only one who saw the potential custody/emotional issues in two complex case studies. Others didn’t even notice.
But sometimes, it’s not so positive. I routinely wonder which of my friends will get divorced. And when a happily married friend talked to me about getting a vasectomy, all I could think about was his next wife and the trouble they will go through to get it reversed (!).
The stepmom perspective: is it just realistic, or all too doomsday? I don’t know, but—for now, anyway—it’s the one I’ve got.
Oh, yeah.
I’m studying mediation theory, and guess what my assignments have all revolved around?
I’ll probably end up setting up a small business mostly catering to stepfamily mediation needs.
Yes, we can sometimes seethings through a single coloured lens – but personal experience and attention to a particular subtopic is what helps us to become experts in a niche field. And people really, really need that expertise.
I bet you’ll be a great counsellor, and one of the rare ones that can really work effectively with stepfamilies.
That’s my hope – thanks for the reassurance! And what a great future business for you! I don’t think I’ve heard of that before, so I’m sure you will be much in demand.
Ok so I only just found your blog & I’m catching up…
Yes, you have a unique perspective – embrace it..!
Funny how you say that – I was just thinking that I’m like a broken record in class, always turning the discussion back to stepfamilies. But that’s my unique perspective, darn it!